I was in the middle of cruising through a good Bible study, bee-bopping in time with the sunshine when God ran me into a brick wall. It was just a simple exercise in the workbook but it wrecked me. The assignment? “If God would write you a letter about your fear, what would He say?” The author had the audacity to leave way too much blank space for us to write that letter. Silly, I thought. I am not a fearful person. Umph. In fact, I am confident, secure and really not that worried about a whole lot. Ok, maybe it is just little worries here and there but I can handle it. I kept the prideful denials rolling around in my head. I am not a fearful person and this is a dumb exercise! Skip it and move on. Good plan. So, I told God that fear was not a super big issue with me, and I turned the page thinking that I fooled Him once again. He ever so sweetly said, “Then why are you so afraid of doing the assignment?” Busted.
You and I are probably a lot alike, simply because we wear human skin. Do you waltz through Bible studies skipping the hard stuff? Do you rationalize your way through junk too painful to deal with? Do you downplay your stuff because you assume there are others with way more serious problems? We trust Him with our lips and yet our minds race and our lives feel like they are falling apart. But, you are ok. You smile. You aren’t fearful or worried or anything because you are stronger than that. Bigger than that. Better than that. I get it.
I want to share my letter from that study because God is an expert at building really sturdy brick walls so His kids can learn a thing or two. He wrecked me so I could get real with Him and He could heal me. I am not as strong or courageous as I thought and His letter to me proved it. By writing my letter, I found His peace, mercy and grace that my heart didn’t even know I needed. Friend, just maybe He wrote this for you, too.
My Dearest Little Girl,
How are you, really? Yeah, I knew that. I saw it, too. That’s why I built this brick wall. I wanted to talk to you about a few things if you have time. You see, I know what is really going on in your heart. You haven’t talked to Me about in a while because you think you have it all figured out. I know you think fear isn’t a big deal for you, but I do. It is coming between the two of us and you are making your life way more complicated than I intended it to be. Trust Me when I tell you that abundant life is available to you when you surrender your fears for My freedom.
Why do you feel as though I have left you? Don't you feel me holding you when you cry? Don't you see me moving in every detail of your life? Can you hear me singing My song of Joy over you every time I hear you talk with me? Fear and unbelief are robbing you of the joy of your salvation in my Son. Come, let Me wash all of the fear away-just as completely as I have washed those crimson sins off of your record. Your name is written in My Lamb's Book of Life-never to be erased. Believe in Me. Trust Me when I tell you-that is all it takes. Trust and surrender. I am all it ever takes for every moment of every day. I am sufficient in your suffering. I am The Conqueror in your trials and I am enough when you have lost all of your strength. Fear not because I will never leave you or forsake you.
Fear has no place in your parenting. I see your heart for your children and that is why I entrusted them to you in the first place. But, those children are all mine. I knit them together in your womb. I gifted them with sharp minds and talents that they are learning to use for My glory. I purposed them for My pleasure and it is a joy to watch you discover and encourage the treasures I have woven into their very being. Well done. Now in faith, let them go so I can bring them to new levels of trusting in Me. Let them go so they come to Me on their own. Honey, this is not going to be an easy road because they are sinners just like you. This is going to be painful because they have lessons to learn that only I can teach them. They will fall, they will be bruised and they will be broken. They will face trials that bring them to their knees. But, there is one thing I want you to remember as you stand back and pray for them with a mama’s heart. I have them. I promise to lead them just as faithfully as I have led you. I promise to use their pain, tears and trials to reveal my unending love for them. I am sufficient for all of their needs. I know how to perfect them into My image. Don’t be afraid of the battles that they face because I am preparing them to be mighty warriors for My kingdom. To you it will look messy, but not to Me. Your job is worship, intercede and wait. Fear not, because My ways are always good and kind.
Spend your thought life fixed on me instead of your fears, sweet one. I can tell you are weary of trying to plan, fix, prepare and polish everything. Your head is spinning because you are fearful of what others think of you. What they say and what they think are not important because I know what I think about you. My thoughts and intentions toward you are always good. My Word says that you are complete because of my Son. It is finished. What you say, what you do are all filtered through the blood of Jesus. I see you wearing yourself out trying to be perfect for others. The worlds standards are not what I measure you by. That is a weight that you were never meant to bear. You ARE accepted in My Beloved. You don't have to blend in and you don't have to stick out to fit someones ideal. All I ever wanted was for you to rest in My love for you. You have a choice to embrace change with joy, or return to your spin cycle. Oh, how I long for you to just BE YOU and for YOU to be with ME. I created you and gifted you in so many ways. So run, sweet daughter!! RUN FREE. LIVE WELL. LOVE STRONG. NEVER be ashamed of the person I am calling you to be! Those voices that condemn you are not from Me. They never were. Those whispers are from a defeated enemy and they can not consume you if you are consumed with My Son. Fear not! Whom the Son sets free, is free indeed.
My greatest joy is having My Holy Spirit living inside of you. I love talking with you and hearing about your day! I love watching you take baby steps into My arms! I love watching you be My hands and feet to people who don't know Me yet. One day they will because I am the One that is calling them. I love using your gifts to write My Word on their hearts! I love watching My Spirit inspire you to share The Word that is strong enough to save. By the way, that is My job, you know-to save. Your job is to be obedient to My word and I will take it from there. Pray about it, obey me, let go and then worship while you watch me work it all out. You are My simple, sweet, messy, imperfect vessel and My heart sings over you because I delight to work in you. Christ IN YOU is what My Son died for and it is a beautiful thing. Fear not, because I chose My Holy Spirit to dwell in you before the foundation of the world.
You are Loved here on this big earth that I have placed you on and I love you so much that I will spend eternity with you. I need you to need Me in the process. One day I am going to call you home and your faith will be your sight. Until heaven is your reality, I want you to know that every time you pick up My Word, I am there speaking. Every time you see someone in need, You are seeing My heart. Every time you serve, I am your hands. Every time your heart breaks, I am The One mending. Every tear you cry, I am your Comforter. Every time you are afraid, I am your Defender. Every time you are broken, I am your Great Physician. Every time you are confused, I am your Wisdom. Every time you sin, I am your Redeemer. Fear not, because I call you Mine.